I think one of the major issues we're having with Kevin Rudd lately is just that we're not completely understanding what he's getting at. Perhaps a translation phrasebook would be useful:
Rudd-English Phrasebook
Rudd:
"People have to understand that because there's going to be the usual political shit storm, sorry, political storm."
English:
"Hey look everyone, I'm using the 's' word. Aren't I terribly hip - we're on the same wavelength here, aren't we? I'm just a typical Aussie bloke, and I'm every bit as prone to use a little bit of saucy language every now and then. Saucy..."
Rudd:
"Fair shake of the sauce bottle."
English:
"Oh dear me, excuse that, it's just my colloquial language, no doubt the sort of which you'd hear on your evenings down at the local pub, or just in common usage. Strewth."
Rudd:
"I don't care what you fuckers think!...You can get fucked!...Don't you fucking understand?"
English:
"Now is not a convenient time to discuss your printing allowances. I have a very strong stance on this, and don't wish to negotiate with you. Perhaps you could come back another time, as I am a little bit stressed at the moment. Do you not understand what I have just said?"
Rudd:
"In the unlikely event of the Bulldogs winning, I’ll wear their tie. The Lions scarf will compliment Julia’s hair! KRudd"
English:
"Look everyone, I'm Twittering!"
Rudd:
"First news I got having arrived in the states was that the Broncos had won. Terrific. Important work this week with UN & G20. KRudd"
English:
"Yay Broncos!!!!!...and im meant to be doing sumthing with g20 lol but really im just a normal bloke XD"
21 September, 2009
19 September, 2009
Take a Deep Breath...
Finally, some holidays, even if it will just be the calm before a massive studying storm. So why don't I mark this day by regaling you all with a freshly experienced incident from yesterday:
In a train carriage, headed out from the city, not overly busy, around 5.45pm. A group of friends were reading the mX, and briefly pondered how the horoscope section was written. Two friends leave, and only one is left, a rather plain looking boy, the sort that would keep a blog. A man is standing nearby, who has a wandering left eye or something. He laughs as the doors close.
Man (in an odd sort of voice - picture that as you will): Haha, horoscopes.
Boy (somewhat surprised, smiles politely and nods): ...
Man: Once I knew this person...and she always read the horoscopes. Ouahh....SO ANNOYING!!!
Boy: Ah..right.
Man: It was just like, shut up!
Boy: Yes, I can imagine...
Man: So you're all from (insert name of school)?
Boy (mildly surprised at the ID of school): Yes...
Conversation lapses into awkward silence.
Boy (against better judgement, volunteering more information): We're Year 12...so just preparing for exams and all...yeah...
Man: So where d'you wanna go?
Boy: Oh, well, there's this course at Melbourne Uni, Media and Communications, that I'm looking at at the moment...
Man: Ah, right. I never went to uni and stuff, I only finished school. I'm coming back from work now...
Boy (conversationally): Oh, right. So whereabouts do you work?
Man: ABC Childcare.
Boy: Oh, cool. Nice.
Man: Yeah...little kids...oh, they just came up and grabbed me today, grabbed me around the legs (waving his arms at his legs). It's amazing how kids just want to come up and...(gesturing at his legs again).
Boy: Mhm.
Man: Yeah, some kids...they just don't want to talk to you. But these ones today were like, all over you.
Pause.
Man: I've had to get a police check and everything...started in childcare last year...
Boy (inwardly alarmed, but retaining a calm demeanor with all the skill of the best spies): Sure, yeah.
Train begins pulling into station at which the boy is getting off.
Man: Yeah, I was based in Altona before, and all the kids were grubby and yukky...but not so much here, they're mostly clean...which is nice.
Boy: Yeah, probably wouldn't be too much fun having to clean up kids.
The train pulls into the station and stops. The boy gets off. The man does not.
This episode depressed me, because the thought which was running through my head when he was speaking with such enthusiasm about affectionate young children grabbing his legs was "oh shit, this guy is a pedophile". I suppose it's due in part to the recent attention over vigilante action over a particular offender living in the community, but it also just seems to be the trend. There's so much news that's bad news, that we instantly assume the worst when we're confronted with situations like this.
It's of course equally possible that this guy was harmful, or that he was just a lovely yet awkward man who had a deep non-sexual love for caring for innocent children. I'm not trying to make a point, or get all "WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE DAYS WHEN WE KNEW THE MILKMAN AND ALL LIVED IN HARMONY" or anything. It was just a bit sad, to realise how quickly the thought that the person I was talking to was a pedophile jumped into my mind, and tainted what could have just been a nicely awkward conversation.
In a train carriage, headed out from the city, not overly busy, around 5.45pm. A group of friends were reading the mX, and briefly pondered how the horoscope section was written. Two friends leave, and only one is left, a rather plain looking boy, the sort that would keep a blog. A man is standing nearby, who has a wandering left eye or something. He laughs as the doors close.
Man (in an odd sort of voice - picture that as you will): Haha, horoscopes.
Boy (somewhat surprised, smiles politely and nods): ...
Man: Once I knew this person...and she always read the horoscopes. Ouahh....SO ANNOYING!!!
Boy: Ah..right.
Man: It was just like, shut up!
Boy: Yes, I can imagine...
Man: So you're all from (insert name of school)
Boy (mildly surprised at the ID of school): Yes...
Conversation lapses into awkward silence.
Boy (against better judgement, volunteering more information): We're Year 12...so just preparing for exams and all...yeah...
Man: So where d'you wanna go?
Boy: Oh, well, there's this course at Melbourne Uni, Media and Communications, that I'm looking at at the moment...
Man: Ah, right. I never went to uni and stuff, I only finished school. I'm coming back from work now...
Boy (conversationally): Oh, right. So whereabouts do you work?
Man: ABC Childcare.
Boy: Oh, cool. Nice.
Man: Yeah...little kids...oh, they just came up and grabbed me today, grabbed me around the legs (waving his arms at his legs). It's amazing how kids just want to come up and...(gesturing at his legs again).
Boy: Mhm.
Man: Yeah, some kids...they just don't want to talk to you. But these ones today were like, all over you.
Pause.
Man: I've had to get a police check and everything...started in childcare last year...
Boy (inwardly alarmed, but retaining a calm demeanor with all the skill of the best spies): Sure, yeah.
Train begins pulling into station at which the boy is getting off.
Man: Yeah, I was based in Altona before, and all the kids were grubby and yukky...but not so much here, they're mostly clean...which is nice.
Boy: Yeah, probably wouldn't be too much fun having to clean up kids.
The train pulls into the station and stops. The boy gets off. The man does not.
This episode depressed me, because the thought which was running through my head when he was speaking with such enthusiasm about affectionate young children grabbing his legs was "oh shit, this guy is a pedophile". I suppose it's due in part to the recent attention over vigilante action over a particular offender living in the community, but it also just seems to be the trend. There's so much news that's bad news, that we instantly assume the worst when we're confronted with situations like this.
It's of course equally possible that this guy was harmful, or that he was just a lovely yet awkward man who had a deep non-sexual love for caring for innocent children. I'm not trying to make a point, or get all "WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE DAYS WHEN WE KNEW THE MILKMAN AND ALL LIVED IN HARMONY" or anything. It was just a bit sad, to realise how quickly the thought that the person I was talking to was a pedophile jumped into my mind, and tainted what could have just been a nicely awkward conversation.
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