25 August, 2008

Colourful Comments

As you can see, I've changed the colours of my blog yet again to accomodate for some of you (one of you) who voiced distaste for the previous scheme in the shoutbox. Speaking of which, reader participation has never been higher, so thanks to everyone for contributing their own little bits. It warms my heart on these cold winter nights when I sit down to write here.

Olympics are over. Its sort of funny that China won the Olympics. Seems a bit like inviting a large group of friends over to your house, beating them at a series of board games, hiding all the rubbish in cupboards around your house until you wave them away with a smile - and "wasn't that good fun everyone?"

Almost as much fun as nude and naughty nuns in the beauty pageant planned by Reverend Antonio Rungi. This priest wants to give nuns a chance to prove they're not all "old and dour". The "Miss Sister 2008 Pageant" plans to allow Catholic nuns to enter themselves in an online voting competition. Of course, while "being ugly is not a requirement for becoming a nun. External beauty is a gift from God, and we mustn't hide it", they will remain in God's favourite attire for Brides of Christ, the humble habit....

23 August, 2008

Radical and Crazy New Idea

Ok.

I am about to suggest something so crazy, so...absolutely life changing for each and every one of you...that....well, just prepare yourself.

Because I am constantly seeking for new ways to interact with you, my band of faithful occassional readers, I thought we could play a little game. Yes, a game. So here's my idea. Because on Saturdays I have an illusion of more spare time, I thought I could begin writing a story. So I write the first entry, and then...wait for it....I CREATE A POLL SO YOU CAN SELECT WHERE THE STORY GOES THE NEXT SATURDAY. Think of the possibilities. YOu can also suggest through comments if you have a particular idea. Then, the next Saturday, much like Big Brother, the most selected suggestion will be written out. So its sort of like a choose your own way adventure.

The poll I have now would have to be closed, so I think I should sum up in a blog entry the closing results. By a large lead, it would seem most people deem it appropriate to give up your seat if the train is crowded and there are elderly/disabled people needing a seat, on 13 votes. 5 votes for giving up your seat because it just makes you happy (and good for you!). 4 of you object to giving up your seat based on the "concession ticket holder" status, and lastly, 3 of you would wait for someone to ask (on the logical assumption that if they want a seat that badly, they'll ask). So thank you to everyone for voting.

Ok. I'll have each story entry as a separate post to avoid confusion. And its up to you to see where it goes!

19 August, 2008

What We Learn in School

Firstly, I would like to say thanks to everyone that has commented in the shoutbox. Now I have more joy in my heart as I sit down to waste time writing. But enough about the wasting time. I'll assume we all know that by now.

During my usual meander through the back pages of "The Age", I came upon an article which discussed the comments made by Mark Lopez, a teacher in the English system who recently stated that the English texts chosen were biased towards the left wing "politically correct" ideologies (wonder what he'd say about the "culture" films we get exposed to in French...)

He also made the proposal that half the books should be chosen by "right wing" thinkers, and half by "left wing" thinkers. Surely books cannot be summed up as "right wing" or "left wing". Authors of books often deal with many complex themes, and to simply summarise an entire work as "right" or "left" seems ridiculous to me. This battle of ideologies would only cause conflict, and encourage the opposing sides to propose more and more comprehensive books illustrating their "political bias", until educational value is overlooked entirely.

Brave New World, for example, is a book which paints a portrait of communism, where there is one society, where everyone fits into the larger part. While the right might hail this as a challenge to the apparent bias in schools, I think that Brave New World does not attempt to pass judgement on the world, it simply shows. We see John the Savage does not fit in at all with the values of this society, but he is not glorified into a conservative valued hero. (I, for one, would gladly live in the society of Brave New World - after all, I'd be conditioned to...)

We can use books to demonstrate anything. It is often quite easy to staple meaning to books that were completely unintended by the author, yet plausible. And to attempt to classify literature into "barracking" for different ends of the political spectrum seems to me very wrong.

In Catcher in the Rye, for example, did anyone else notice Holden wore a RED cap? Or that clearly Algernon and Jack's Bunburying in The Importance of Being Earnest was a thinly veiled metaphor for satisfying the individual, and rebelling against authority (as was no doubt the highly organised political agenda of Oscar Wilde?)

Ok, so WE SHOULDN'T USE ALL LITERATURE AS MASCOTS OF DIFFERING POLITICAL FIELDS. Wow, these rants are really addictive. But probably pretty boring for you..."just shut up and give us links gelati gecko".

18 August, 2008

Another Time Wasting Game

Yep, I've not got much motivation to write, but nevertheless I will (you can thank me in the shoutbox at right - which now has THREE entries, only two of which are me). So here's another small internet game that has been floating around:

http://www.onemorelevel.com/games/avoider.html

Basically you move the mouse away from the small animated thingy trying to clutch it with its chubby little paws.

17 August, 2008

I Hate, You Hate, and Yet We All Procrastinate

Ok, I'm going to make this short because I have a story to write that's due in tomorrow...so, a few admin things to consider:

The Poll seems to be going quite well. I think that all of the scientists among us can observe a 'trend' developing, towards the answer that giving up your seat is somthing that you would do on a crowded train. And yes, to the maths people, I know the numbers don't add up. That's because people can select multiple options when voting (see, don't say I don't give you freedom). But we'll wait and see how that ends up. So, good work on voting everyone. Hearty and well deserved rofls all round.

Secondly, the shoutbox has gotten off to a bad start. I spent a good 10 mins getting everyone that box, so USE IT. This is Australia. We don't have the right to bear arms, but we have the right to shout our worthless opinions from every possible media outlet. I am, so why don't you? It costs nothing, and you can remain completely anonymous. Enter in a different name, say what you like. Here's your project, people, I want at least 3 comments in that shoutbox, positive or negative, before the week is out.

Secondly, or perhaps thirdly if you're going to be pedantic, I feel like I should give you some internet links, after looking at much more concise and entertaining blogs than this one (feel free to to contradict me and compliment my blog in the shoutbox). So, here is a link a friend gave me to some simple, yet addictive games:

http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/

The mouse game is particularly good (top row, second last column). So, go waste some time (you know you don't do it enough!) and enjoy!

16 August, 2008

Australian TV is Turning Us into Racists. Discuss.

I guess what prompted this entry (other than a perpetually burning desire to create a large enough fan base from the wayward travellers who venture into this blog, with which I might be able to launch a full scale invasion on the Eighth Dimension) was the advertisement for "Border Patrol" which is running at the moment.

It was after enjoying some of Seven's Olympic Coverage - which is making its own humble contribution to the problem through the careful selection of presenters such as Andrew Daddo who is (after his great success hosting Nine's terrible "The One"), attempting to claw back his dignity with the morning Olympic program "Yum Cha". Apart from the interesting choice of name:

Producer: We need something that reminds our viewers of the Chinese location...

Suggester #1: What about "China Uncensored"?

Suggester #2: Or "Beijing Breakfast Buddies"?

Producer: No, no. We need something a bit more subtle...

Suggester #1: "Ying and Yang with-"

Suggester #3: What about that meal that Chinese people have...umm...whats it called?

Producer: Ah, yes! Hotpot!

Suggester #2: No, I thought that was Mongolians....its.....YUM CHA!

Producer: That's it. Excellent. Yum Cha. It has a ring to it. It's different without being confrontational. Throw in some gamelan music to accompany the Chinese feel, and we're set.

Music Director: The gamelan is Indonesian...

And then Daddo opens the show with "With the weather we've been having, you'd reckon Beijing was Chinese for puddles". BUT I DIGRESS.

The ad for "Border Patrol" was shaping it up to be one exciting season return, picking up from the cliffhanger where an angry and confused man was shouting at a drug donkey from Asia...
We're promised more excitement from its host Grant Bowler (that's right, the man from The Mole that disappeared for a while), who hints that there will be less blurred faces, more naming and shaming (if we can even pronounce their names, lolololololol).

They also use the charming language technique of "its a battle between us" *close up of border officer* and "them" *close up of Asian*. The funniest part is that it can actually be somewhat addictive TV. The ratings are proof of that. Mum is even partial to the odd episode - it is easy to get caught up in the whole "He's got drugs inside him? Wow, I really wanna see how they - oh, we have to wait over an ad break and sit through someone else on an illegal visa?..well, ok."

There is also all that nationalistic television programs such as Today Tonight and A Current Affair have contributed to this, through skewed reports on "Australian values at risk" and other such rubbish which deserves equal measures of boo and hiss. Channel Seven news does it sometimes, even if just in the way they will single out the attacker "of a Middle Eastern" or "Asian" background, yet fail to single out the "white Australian" when they are involved. This is how we end up with people, people I know, who will frown darkly at the mention of Islam and mutter "I'm not sure about all those Muslim people with their glory suicide bombers". Its just the "vibe" they get from so much of the media, and while they can't point to specific examples, the sentiments remain, towards whole communities. THIS CAUSES HATE, WHICH IS BAD.

Ok, so there we go. Lesson of the day: keep your wits about you whenever you watch TV. No TV news is "trustworthy" or should be put beyond close scrutiny. And accept my apology - I wasn't going to have another TV related rant...but there you go. I shall make a better attempt at self control next time, let us hope.

15 August, 2008

Re: Comments on Tone Changes

People have been telling me that my blog has been changing a bit in terms of tone. This is the result of my beginning a blog. You can't expect me to get everything the way I want it the first time. This blog is something I'm growing into, evolving constantly. So while I might not like the initial entries I made too much, I feel it would be false to go and change those entries (and a waste of time). This way we can all see the changing face of Gelati Gecko's blog.

Strangest Moment of the Week

The other day, when buying copious amounts of alcohol from a local family run supermarket with my father (preparing to wrap ourselves in Australian flags and booze on a patriotic combination of Olympics and alcohol, of course), Dad decided to pay with his credit card. So he gave it to the friendly man behind the counter, and he swiped it in the eftpos. ERROR.

Friendly man: Hmm, it doesn't seem to be working.

Dad: Hmm, there had been something wrong with the card, so they were reactivating it...I think I should call them to check its been reactivated...

*Dad gets out mobile phone and rings credit card company...after a while...

Dad: They said it should be activated in 5 mins...

Friendly Man: Ah, I see.

So then we stood to the side for 5 mins while other people went past and bought whatever it is they buy, and a lady dropped an onion and I picked it up and she smiled and said "thank you" and I said "that's ok" then she put it into her trolley that elderly ladies use. But my Dad wanted to use his credit card, to be sure that it worked, and so we waited...

Dad: Well, its been 5 mins, perhaps we could give it another shot.

Friendly Man: Ok. *gets card and swipes it. "No..." *proceeds to swipe card

And I mean some serious swiping. He swiped, then swiped, then swiped some more. He swiped until his arm was sore. Then he decided "Sometimes it works better with plastic. Just sometimes...all I know...is it sometimes works better with plastic." And so he got a plastic bag, and wrapped it around the card, and continued his swiping, breaking the 100 mark (no exagerration).

And his wife was standing next to him (because there weren't too many customers in the shop at this time), and she was just watching. She was mesmerised by his swiping. Occassionally she'd give a little nod after each swipe as if she was thinking "Now that swiping, that's why I married this man." Or "yes, yes, it's working". But it didn't. So now I was asking my dad to just pay with money. But he can be stubborn, and so we continued. Of course, if the card wouldn't swipe, we'd have to put in the security number or some such thing. Of course, this was all fine except for one number which was both obscured by another part of the card, and a little faded.

Friendly Man: Is this a 5, do you think *shows Dad

Dad: Yeah, I think it could be a 5

Friendly Man's Wife: *taking a look "It might also be a 6"

Friendly Man: Ah yes, it does look also a bit like a 6. Maybe I will try both numbers. *tries both numbers. "It still doesn't seem to be working...." *addressing me: "What do you think, is it a 6 or a 5?

Me: *inspecting the card "I think it has to be a 6...although...that bit might not be joined...but I'd definitely say either a 5 or a 6. I don't think it could be anything else.

Friendly Man: *getting out his glasses for a closer inspection. "Well, I've tried both of them. I do not think it will work."

At this point I spotted some Beef Jerky sitting on a stand at the counter (evidently designed for customers such as ourselves), and, having always thought it was similar to dog food, was naturally curious to try some.

Me: Dad, is beef jerky like dog food?

Dad: No, its not dog food. Its dried salted beef. Do you want to get some to try?

Me: uhh....ok.

Friendly Man: Well then, I would have to add it to the other purchases...and start over again...

Me: Oh, never mind then.

Dad: Well, you can probably pay with coins separately.

So we did, and the man continued to swipe for a little while longer, until I FINALLY managed to convince Dad to pay with cash, and we left. (Incidentally, the beef jerky tasted sort of salty, chewy...not bad, not terribly exciting either.) Well, it was one of those moments where you just had to be there, I guess.

13 August, 2008

Does My Nation Look Fat in This?


Well, the opening ceremony is still making headlines days after, it seems, with the revelation that the cute little girl in the pretty little red dress named Lin Miaoke, singing happily away about her country WASN'T what we heard. Instead, we heard a recording of Yang Peiyi (the girl on the left), who had been going to appear in the ceremony, but guess what - she was swapped in a last minute decision made by one of the politburos (people pulling the strings), in a conversation that may have gone a little like this:
Politiburo (watching Peiyi sing): She's very talented, isn't she?
Musical director: Mmm, she can definitely sing.
Politiburo (looking across at director): Of course, that's not ALL she'll be doing at the ceremony. She is representing the entire nation...of course, it can be quite a daunting prospect, and sometimes the attention, the lights....it can be a bit much for young girls...who may not be used to it.
Musical director: She seems to be copying very well though
Politiburo: I don't doubt it, I don't doubt it at all (chuckles). But all the same...there must be many girls who auditioned for this role...perhaps some who are even more..."camera savvy".
Musical Director:......ah.
Politiburo: (watching director closely) Yes. Ah.
Musical Director: Are you suggeting...
Politiburo: Of course she could still be dubbed over the top of the new girl..
Musical Director: Of course, yes. You're right, Politiburo.
Politiburo: It is my job to be right. I'm glad we've reached an understanding.
But probably went more like this:
Politiburo (watching Yang Peiyi): No. Too fat. Bad teeth.
Musical Director: But her voice?
Politiburo: Keep the voice. Just find me a face to match it in quality. And fast.
Musical Director: Of course.
The musical director who gave the interview also revealed that Lin Miaoke probably didn't even know the words she was singing couldn't be heard by the audience, which I think is a little sad, given how thrilled and excited she looked at the time. But the interesting thing is the way in which the papers have seized upon the news, taking as an opportunity to paint the Chinese as shallow and heartless. Of course, the reasoning given by the organisers is that they took the best body and teamed it up with the best voice, to represent China as best they could. It isn't fair or right perhaps that Yang Peiyi didn't get to represent her own voice. Yes, its shallow. Yes, its stupid - I mean, let's face it: would ANYONE think any less of the Games had Yang Peiyi appeared? Would there have been people shaking their heads going "There's a face that should never be let near a camera". There was nothing wrong with Peiyi. She just wasn't cute enough.
Of course this raises the issue of a country's image, and the people they choose to send this image. Let's not forget Australia's 2000 Olympics - we chose Nikki Webster to represent the nation. Were there other, more talented singers that could have been selected? Probably, but Nikki was "the image" Australians wanted to send out to the globe of Australia...as well as the duck boy...but I think that just confused everyone. These child stars nations use as a face don't represent the whole nation, they represent an ideal. Because the people in charge are always trying to sell an image, regardless of the truth, or real people. How can Australia's "Where the bloody hell are you?" campaign of adventures to be had in rainforests, suntans to be gotten on beautiful beaches, and kangaroos, with the young and sexy Lara Bingle have any authority when we, as Australians, have been recently labelled - wait for it - the FATTEST NATION ON EARTH (yes, pat on the back everyone - can't reach your back? That's ok, just tap your shoulder if you're able).
Yet people will continue to use pretty people, because they appeal, and we will continue to be outraged because we can't be the pretty people...

11 August, 2008

Who are the Fuwa?

If writing a blog seemed to be an easy task before, I now realise I was mistaken. The fact is, I don't have much to write about - and if I don't have much inspiration...I guess I'll have to find something else to put up...since I didn't post anything yesterday and no doubt you're all wondering "Why hasn't Gelati Gecko put up a post? I am indeed most anxious to read another post on his blog - and why is the poll expired?" (I actually don't know why the poll has expired, the settings seem to be stuck...but maybe its just on my computer since I've voted). So perhaps I can post something relevant to the Beijing Olympics, something TOPICAL as the English teachers would say when trying to get an approrpriate langauge analysis article.

Did you know there are five different mascots, or "Fuwa" for the Beijing Games? Beibei, Jingjing, Huanhuan, Yingying, and Nini. For those of you who speak Mandarin, you may have noticed that their names (which are repeated syllables) together spell out "Beijing huan ying ni", or "Beijing Welcomes You". I found a picture here from the official site (http://en.beijing2008.cn/spirit/beijing2008/graphic/n214068254.shtml), which outlines what each mascot individually represents:
They have even been given different personalities, endearing themselves to us with qualities such as the unbounded happiness of Jingjing - "You can see his joy in the charming naivety of his dancing pose". Indeed we can, bless the cheeky little panda (Jingjing is the second from the left). And we are reassured that while Huanhuan "inspires all with the passion to run faster, jump higher and be stronger, he is also open and inviting".

So there you go. Now you're all the wiser on the Fuwa of the Beijing Olympics - they seemed to be everywhere when I went to China last year, in the form of plush toys and keyrings.

Well, this post has been, if nothing else, mildly informative.

09 August, 2008

Is It Just Me?

Is it just me, or does everyone else have crazy families as well?
For example, today:
Recently my parents decided to buy new beds for themselves and my sister and repaint the entire house - normal enough, I'm sure. And so today the beds and some other drawers and matresses and whatever other furniture they bought was arriving at 8.15am this morning. And so everyone was up and excited over the arrival of the furniture today. The people from Bev Marks Bedzz Australia turned up and dropped off all the stuff so it was all around our house. And somehow (because my mum didn't have cereal, my dad hadn't had breakfast, and my sister's just....sort of absent minded), I was the first person to notice that the fridge was broken.
Of course, this sparked its own little fit from mum who then rang up some people in the Yellow Pages to come over. Also coming over were some family who mum wanted to give us advice on the painting (apparently a very technical business). But they were really late (because as they later told us, they got lost for two hours...). So then they finally turned up, and 10 mins later so did the fridge guy. Then we had to get all the food out of the fridge and freezer, so I was carrying round shelves with celery, apples, frozen raspberries and melting ice cream, trying to find somewhere to put it inbetween the furniture crap that was everywhere, while my mum was sitting at a table with the relatives going "Do you think, for the bathroom, Sea Wife or Ocean Mist would look better as a feature wall?"
And I honestly don't know, sometimes I just think THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY FAMILY, and that there are only two sane members of my family - me, and the dog (but even he's a bit mad). But maybe I'm wrong and other people just have the decency not to discuss their family lives on internet blogs.

08 August, 2008

Unconstructive Criticism

Interestingly, since telling some of my 'friends' that I started this blog, they have taken it upon themselves to tell me how much they disliked it (someone who shall be known by the anagram Gnim Gnak was particularly disheartening), so perhaps after I've finished having a little cry - no, don't touch me, I'm fine thanks. Just fine - I will have another shot at writing this blog.
You may notice I have set up a poll to the right. Feel free to vote (one vote per reader, please form an orderly queue). This poll's purpose is to prove once and for all (to the aforementioned Gnim Gnak especially - he'll be excited he's getting two mentions) - what people think about train ettiquette.
Not much more to add...I'm sure we're all waiting for the Chinese Olmpic ceremony with baited breath..apparently the ceremony to end all ceremonies, if Anna Koren is any authority to go by.

Incidentally, DID YOU KNOW that the tradition of Chinese New Year comes from a monster named Nian? This monster used to eat people every now and then, until a wise man suggested that the people get together and make loud noises to scare Nian away. The apparently very ugly Nian got tired and confused and eventually fell over, after which the Chinese villagers hacked away at him with their garden hoes and rakes until they killed him (sort of feel for Nian a bit, don't you?...hmm..maybe it should be another poll). And so now, on Chinese New Year, there is a festival with the colour red and loud celebrations to mark it. A Chinese greeting for the New Year is Xin Nian Hao.

07 August, 2008

Raison d'Etre

There are some days where things just don't go the way you want. Sometimes its when you've woken up at 5.30am for band, jumped on an early train, and have halfway reached school when you realise you don't have your instrument (At times like this I break into hysterical/insane fits of laughter - but I'm usually alone. Except for the early train people, who are really quite a sedated group of commuters that like to keep to themselves.)
But there are other times when I realise the small moments in day to day life that we should all appreciate more. Here is one of my favourites:

What is termed by psychologists the "door opening complex". This is when an impatient commuter holds down a clearly unlit button, releasing it just before it turns green. A few fantastical seconds pass as everyone in the carriage watches that button, unpressed, glowing cheekily, wantonly winking away. Then someone presses the button and the moment is over. But I swear, this is by far one of the best perks I get from my train trip (but keep in mind I also find writing letters to television guides, taking the Parliament reverse route and binging on mind blowingly terrible TV close seconds (incidentally, a warm thank you to the music selection monkey at Today Tonight, you will always make me laugh. Coffee?))

And also, we should all keep an eye out for the upcoming Olympic reports on commercial stations (a reliable source tells me that Kochie is particularly amusing to watch as he works his way through offending everything Chinese - who knew!) But there's some spectacularly bad television beckoning at the moment, so you'll have to excuse me.

06 August, 2008

Brave New Blog

The other day I was reading a friend's blog when I thought to myself "I want to have a blog". I wanted to be one of "those" people - the people who post clever and amusing posts about themselves to strangers on the Internet. So now I have a blog. Of course, then next point to consider is "WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO SAY?" And much like an embarrassed Olympic Games Organiser explaining why the media were not told that China would not be allowing full access to all media during the Olympic Games despite assurances they would, not much.
But to compensate, I've found you all (yes, ALL) a FREE internet game which is ALSO educational, as well as giving you a vaguely pleased feeling as you believe that you are somehow helping the starving simply by playing, which can be offset by the occassional pangs of guilt when you realise the amount of work you should be doing, instead of trying to become a walking dictionary (Because let's face it, nobody is impressed if you know that gustatory means pertaining to or related to taste)

http://www.freerice.com/

Enjoy