Someone bet me I couldn't write a story using no words shorter than four letters. Being the proud and competitive person I am, I of course wanted to prove them wrong. I suppose I haven't really....writing is terrible without conjunctions and shorter verbs - so far I have used 18 words with three letters or less.
So there you go...
“That’s impossible!” exclaimed Lucy upon hearing that Timothy, Lucy’s massive bestial bison living upon several green cushions within Lucy’s house (challenged during some boastful banter between several ponies) planned writing short stories using only words with four letters, some words with more.
“That’s possible,” explained Timothy, smiling, “Though given, several incredibly awkward clauses, many clumsy sentences, shall likely result.”
“How's that different from usual?” giggled Lucy rather unkindly.
Timothy burst into torrential tears. They coursed down bison-like cheeks, making Lucy feel guilty. Lucy often felt guilty. Should Lucy have been forced into choosing emotions most often experienced, guilt would definitely rank highly. Lucy felt guilty when newspapers showed people dying. Lucy also felt very guilty when Timothy’s sister died – partly because Lucy killed Timothy’s sister during violent bloodlustings (this mustn’t completely bias your impressions drawn from Lucy, though – mainly, Lucy enjoyed being peaceful).
“Four letter worded stories would make dull reading, given that authors wouldn’t focus upon plot, rather upon wording,” conceded Timothy. “Doesn’t mean they’re impossible.”
“What would four letter worded short stories describe?” asked Lucy, mildly curious.
“Anything, really....maybe they could portray someone writing four letter worded short stories, however seemingly impossibly post-modernistically wankerish that would seem,” said Timothy, unwittingly fulfilling this notion.
“Fuck...this gets quite tiresome after comparatively short time,” yawned Lucy, bored.
“Yeah...ceebs,” joked Timothy, snorting great bison chortles, whilst never thinking about writing four letter worded short stories ever again. Ever. Again.
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