Ties

This is actually ridiculous.

Today I went shopping for a tie. I don't mean I went and tried to fix some sort of sporting match so that the end score would be even, or that I went and tried to somehow buy the line used to show a note sustained over a barline in musical notation.

I mean I went to get a tie, the sort you tie around your neck. This sort of tie:

Except that it didn't necessarily have to be a Gryffindor tie. Naturally that would've been cool, but I knew the odds were probably against me there.

Apart from the absurdity of a tie (where did this strange custom come from? Separated from any sort of cultural meaning, it is a piece of cloth which is knotted around the neck to...umm...yeah), I was happy to shop for one. It was a present for Dad (Dad, if you're reading this, then consider yourself justly punished for checking my blog before your birthday).

And so I thought to myself, in my ignorance of tie prices, 'how much can a scrap of material cost? Surely no more than $30'. And so I merrily skipped along to David Jones in the city, and wandered into the shirts and ties section. I walked up to a display, and noted a nice tie. 'Oh, that'll do the trick' - where the 'trick' is not falling apart or fraying, and just being aesthetically complimentary in a general sort of way.

And so I picked it up, flipped it over in my carefree, naive hands, and glanced at the price tag. I laughed out loud. $100 for a tie? I don't think so. The man who was looking after that section of the store looked at me with mild repulsion, perhaps making some not entirely untruthful assumptions based on my odd dress sense and unwarranted laughter.

After a little searching, I realised that, while there were some ties which were 'cheaper' (read: $50 or so), most were in that range. I even discovered a black skinny tie which was priced at $225. That's right, they were charging twice as much, for half the material.

And it began to bring upon a feeling that I always get when I'm asked to pay for something and I feel the price is unreasonable. A voice in the back of my mind always goes off, saying "You know Gelati Gecko, between you and me, I think you could actually do a much better, and certainly more economically sound job yourself!" In this case, my little voice was actually telling me that I should weave a tie with my bare hands.

I ignored the voice as I possess neither the machinery nor expertise to tailor ties. I bought one of the cheaper ones, after explicitly asking the salesman "where do you keep the absolute cheapest ties here?"

I think he was less impressed when, after having talked me through the cheapest options, I casually mentioned at the checkout that 'it's a present for someone'.

Moral of the story: Don't buy a tie! Try making your own ties! Perhaps you could fashion one from an old tablecloth, with some very careful tearing and ripping.

Or you could always just design one from actually notes of money, using different values to create some interesting colour combinations. Quite apart from literally representing the metaphorical embodiment of wealth which I can only assume ties are to some people, it would be a good deal cheaper.