Hong Kong

So I'm in Hong Kong waiting for the next flight. I have been reading the Diary of Anne Frank for a few hours, and enjoying it immensely. Now if she had a blog, it would be a really good one.

While I was the first person packed in my family, I perhaps could have packed my hand luggage more prudently, as my carry on luggage includes two novelty sized pencils from Amsterdam (about 40 cm tall) and a Mozart quill and nib, which has been regarded with great suspicion by all customs clearances thus far. I can only presume the scene rushing through their minds:

Tragedy Averted as Dangerous Novelty Pencil Wielding Passenger Disarmed

It was meant to be a quiet flight from Hong Kong to Brisbane. But what should have been a peaceful flight nearly turned to disaster, as mid-flight a passenger pulled two deadly novelty sized pencils and attempted to take control of the plane.

"He just pulled out two brightly coloured pencils. One was orange...the other one was green," one witness recalled, tears springing to her eyes as the traumatic event was relived. "Then he pointed it at the face of a flight stewardess, and threatened to draw on her face if the control of the plane was not relinquished."

The on-flight staff played down the incident, stating that once the security staff present draw their firearms, the effectiveness of the large and colourful pencils was greatly diminished.

Anyway. I could lose them at Brisbane, as that is still one more hurdle of security to get through. I'm still feeling ill, which is excellent, as it means I don't eat much and just feel generally rubbish.

The customs people at London/Heathrow had no sense of humour whatsoever, which is seeming to be the general trend with customs officers. It was all good until I forgot to put my mobile on the conveyer belt (forgive it, for it is the innocent ignorance of a novice flyer), and the scanner went off.

Me: Oh, whoops, forgot my mobile. (Gets out mobile, puts it on conveyer belt, and walks through metal detector/whatever the hell it does, which does not go off.)

Woman (with flat, monotone voice): No. You still have to be checked now. Too late.

Me (obligingly, no doubt): Oh, ok. (I walked over to where her equally upbeat colleague was waiting with a scanner of some description.)

At this point my parents expressed exasperation that I had been stopped.

Me (cheerily, as always as I am always in best behaviour in my recollections): Oh it's ok...now I'm getting the full security experience, hey?

No response from either of them, who made absolutely no effort to make the experience of being felt up more comfortable. I decided to dispense with the "wow, that's it, just the tension in the back" jokes, and left after they were done. I even said 'Thanks', but they didn't acknowledge it.

I have therefore come to the conclusion that airports should have a greater emphasis on customer comfort in such situations. Because I'm sure the percentage of 'baddies' out of people passing through security is quite low, and so for the majority, it can be daunting. And even a smile for someone planning to commit an evil act isn't such a bad thing. It might even make them thing twice, if they are struck by a spontaneous expression of goodwill and kindness.

But I guess that's why I don't run airport security.