A dissatisfied customer today lodged an official complaint with the family restaurant chain Nandos, claiming that the advertised Portugasm was "really quite disappointing. Throughout the whole meal, it had been built up, then when it happened...I barely felt anything at all." Mr Steven Rifgid retold of how the experience had been raised to ridiculous proportions, and his expectations set high. "The advertising was a large part of it," he revealed. "That ad with the stripper, the massive billboards...I was really expecting some PeriPeri magic when I ordered my Screaming Portugasm Wrap."
A spokeswoman from Nandos today gave a press conference on the situation. "Obviously we're disappointed as well, that a customer wasn't satisfied with the quality and duration of their Portugasm," she stated, wearing a tight fitting T-shirt which read 'We Rub Our Thighs with Extra Hot PeriPeri Salt'. She admitted that there was an ongoing training program within Nandos, in order to teach staff how to more successfully administer a satisfactory Portugasm with greater consistency. "It's certainly not something we're taking lightly - much like our succulent and meaty breasts - chicken breasts, of course," she added hastily with a quick laugh.
Parental groups have taken the opportunity to query the appropriateness of some of Nandos' advertising strategies. "We're just a tad concerned that the sexualisation of the family restaurant alienates some parents, and invades their right as a parent to discuss exactly what a Portugasm is once their children are older."
A senior executive denied the suggestion vehemently. "We would never use sex to sell food. We acknowledge and agree unreservedly that such a strategy would be innapproriate, and condemn any groups found to be using such a strategy," he said from a massive float of a chicken which read "Our Tasty Fresh Breasts Will Leave You Sucking Your Fingers".
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