MasterChef Fever

MasterChef Fever, noun, singular.

Symptoms/Definitions of different case victims:

1. A person who has suddenly realised how much they know about cooking thanks to MasterChef. In some extreme cases their perceived knowledge exceeds that of both the contestants and the judges of the show. Ex: "Wtf sif Julie gets through, at least Chris plated his meals - i culd cook what she cooked easy :@"

2. A person who has suddenly become intensely interested in cooking following watching MasterChef, and now asks detailed questions about every meal. Ex: "Hmm...what have they put in this canteen pasta? I think I detect some basil, a hint of parsely, and unless I'm very much mistaken, some thyme? I wonder if they browned the meat first? Did they fry the garlic and herbs in oil first to release the flavours?"

3. A person who has realised how much they know about the contestants of the show, solely through watching the show. Will often draw on quotes from the show to qualify their opinions. Ex: "I don't think Poh will have the stamina to get through the show. I mean, when the 'Pohllercoaster' is on a high , she's great, but wow, when she has a 'Poh meltdown', she's no 'aPohcalypse'. She's artistic, but lacks the guts it takes to take out the championship - and her knowledge of Asian food is really basic - if the judges were Asian, they'd be like 'wtf squid ink cube noodles this is easy shit'.'

Ok, so I've jumped on the bandwagon and started watching MasterChef. And it's great, cool, non negative, friendly, educational television. With interesting and genuinely likeable contestants, rather than Bazza from Reservoir who's on Big Brother to "get sum tits & inflate condms ovr my hed and get famus :)". The judges are fair rather than harsh, and we all go away learning something.

And people are getting really worked up about it. I've never been on board a reality show, and it's nuts with MasterChef. Facebook and internet forums are abuzz with favourite and hated contestants ("Chris, cos he's really arrogant and up himself." Of course. You'd know, wouldn't you, you've known him for years. No? Oh, then you're a psychoanalyst. No? Oh, so then you're just arbitrarily deciding to 'hate' someone you've never met just for kicks? Ok.)

And we're all entitled to free speech, but I'll still continue being amused by these people because it comes down to two things:

1. You can't actually taste their food, so you're in no position to judge as to whether an elimination was fair or not.

2. Even if you could, there's a reason you weren't contacted by Ten to be a judge.