Citizen Kane.....is Michael Jackson?

We're studying the film Citizen Kane this year in English. And so today I sat down and watched the film. And upon viewing the film, I was struck by an amazing realisation: Citizen Kane and Michael Jackson are one and the same.

Need some convincing?

1. Citizen Kane is ridiculously wealthy and famous. So is Michael Jackson.

2. Citizen Kane built a huge mega mansion/castle modelled on "Xanadu", from Coleridge's poem Kubla Khan. Michael Jackson built a huge mega mansion/castle modelled on "Neverland" from J.M Barrie's Peter Pan.

3. Citizen Kane has his own private zoo in Xanadu, including...wait for it....CHIMPANZEES! Yes, that's right. In the first shot, in fact, Orson Welles cleverly alludes to Michael Jackson through the image of two chimpanzees chained to the gate. Just like Bubbles.

4. Citizen Kane lived in his mansion, largely secluded from the outside world. And surprise surprise, so did Michael Jackson.

5. Citizen Kane's death was met with massive newsreels, bulletins screaming it all over the world in all different languages (as per the opening sequence). And it was only this week we were saturated with the news of Michael Jackson's death.

6. After Kane's death, his hoarded material possessions are sold off, auctioned or burnt. And what's happening with all that Michael Jackson memorabilia again?

7. Take a close look at Citizen Kane throughout the film. In the later parts of his life, his face looks decidedly dodgy, as makeup is used to make him appear older. Surely we can't deny that Orson Welles was very unambiguously poking fun at Michael Jackson's own candle wax distorted face.

8. If you spell 'Charles Foster Kane' using only the letters found in 'Michael Jackson', it will be an anagram of Michael Jackson.

9. Charles Foster Kane is American. And, in chilling resemblance, so is Michael Jackson.

The evidence speaks for itself. Orson Welles truly was ahead of his time, with a film which deconstructed the life of a man who was not yet born. Of course, this opens up the film to many new interpretations. Are we to take it that the failed singing career of Kane's mistress Susan Alexander is symbolic of Jackson's break from the original Jackson Five? Or perhaps to infer that Michael Jackson's constant spending sprees were only in pursuit of a deeper spiritual fulfilment?

One thing's for sure. I would definitely be giving that film a closer look.