Connex customer claims "It's just too predictable"

Bernard Rail stood alone on Friday, a solitary figure as he protested outside Connex’s city based offices demanding answers, bearing his sign “LEAVE THEM LATE, I LOVE TO WAIT”. Connex has lately gained support from the public as services have increased 200% in efficiency, with fewer trains being cancelled than ever before. The contract has been renewed, and myki has almost been completely phased in. But that is little consolation for the 38 year old accountant, who fondly remembers the times when cancellations, delays and entire line faults were a daily occurrence. “I just never used to know what would happen,” he reminisced. “I work all day in an office in the city – for me, the excitement of my mornings lay in the potential detours and delays I would face on the way to work.”

Bernard still believes that a sense of community was fostered in their combined annoyance at Connex. “We had some funny moments,” he laughs bravely. “One time, there was an announcement on the train we were on – that it would terminate at the next station. The woman next to me swore, and we all laughed. That was a nice moment.” He also enjoyed being able to see what people were reading and doing. “One time, I watched a schoolboy beat his friend at Tekken on PSP. I cheered, and I think he knew that I was watching. Things like that, they were what really made it worth it.”

Now he feels he has no reason to get up in the morning. “I know what will happen – of course, sometimes I take get off a station early and take a tram to mix things up, but they’re always perfectly integrated with the train services, so I still always arrive on time.” Connex has offered him no support, and he says they have not responded positively to his suggestions. “Something I would love to see,” he admitted, “would be a national strike day. Of course, they couldn’t tell us when it was – that would ruin the spontaneity.” Connex rejected the idea, leaving Bernard with nothing to look forward to in the morning except Excel charts and numbers.

He is resigned to the fact that he will no longer enjoy his favourite train times, the crowded rush hours. “When the air conditioning used to break down, and I would find myself forcibly thrust against the ample chest of a young businesswoman, her crisp busty office shirt slightly damp with perspiration as we were fused together for an hour of bliss. And when the lights failed and we entered the underground tunnels...well....anything could happen. Now, however, there is always ample seating on the increased services, and such moments are sparse.”

Bernard remains somewhat philosophical about his loss, conceding that at least it will at least allow more time for “pursuing other hobbies, such as rearranging colleagues’ stationery and altering the dates on their desk calendars, and seeing whether they notice.”