DON'T ASK QUESTIONS

Luckily enough, Fate portioned out to me a short yet amusing anecdote which I can bring and share with you all. I shall attempt to convey the hilariousness of the incident as best I can (though I accept that this is impossible).

Setting: Flinders Street, Platform 1, on a train yet to leave the station for Hurstbridge

Time: 3:48 pm

Characters: A group of schoolboys, a shortish woman dressed in business attire, hair in a ponytail, somewhat 'horsey' face and copius green eyeshadow.

So there the schoolboys were, all sitting down and chatting about English SACs or something equally scintillating, when up walked the young woman, and asked of the general group,

"Does anyone here have a phone?"

Me: A phone?

Her: Yes, I need to make a call

Me (thinking that I have seen this woman on the Hurstbridge line before, and I've never seen her asking for things, so it is probably a genuine emergency) and so, being the Good Samaritan that I am: Yeah...I do...is it just one call?

Her: Yes

Me (handing over mobile phone): So it's just a local call?

Her (waving impatiently at me as though I'm some sort of interfering child, and simultaneously turning her back on me, with my phone in her hand): Don't ask questions!

By this stage I was somewhat alarmed at the tone she was taking with me.

Anonymous friend: ahahahahhahahahaha (continues laughing for the next 5 mins, as he would later tell me "not because it happened as such, but that it happened to YOU")

And so she started copying some number from her mobile to mine, completely ignoring me.

Me: I'd feel a lot more comfortable if you'd tell me the sort of call you're making.

Her: Shhhhh, don't worry, don't ask questions. (goes back to ignoring me)

And so then she was punching in the number, and it was as she raised my phone to her ear that I noticed she still had headphones in her ear...the one with the phone to it. At this stage a different quick minded friend on the train went and stood in the doorway under pretence of checking the time on the Flinders Street digital clock, lest she attempts to make a run for it. I was evaluating whether I could outrun her if she did - I think the odds were in my favour, given her stature.

So 30 seconds went past as she listened with her earphoned ear...

Her:......

Me:.......

Friend: AHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHA

Her:.....no, its not working....

I was in no rush to explain to her that perhaps she couldn't hear it if it did, since she appeared to be giving my phone back.

Once she had given my phone back, she went to ask someone else for their phone at the end of the carriage. I looked at my phone, and the number on it looked something like this:


111111111111111111343