Dr Wendy Sharpike, who completed her doctorate paper Yuletide Allergies: When Christmas Tries to Kill You in 2009, has identified the proliferation of general festiveness as the primary cause.
"This year, we have seen unusually early reminders that Christmas is coming. Appallingly unmusical arrangements of Christmas carols blasting through department stores, glittering reindeers and Christmas trees adorning ever corner...these are the kinds of things that can trigger severe allergy attacks."
The spike in hospital admissions with serious asthma is a something that needs to be linked with its true cause, Sharpike said.
Above: Sharpike describes in detail the "hellishly deadly tripwire of allergy triggers that is Myer in November."
"Too often these allergy trends are brushed under the dusty carpet with explanations about pollen counts and other ridiculous theories.
"We have to stop accepting such unscientific explanations, and begin to consider what is actually causing these problems," she added, steadily appearing more unhinged.
While her comments have been almost unanimously slammed by health experts and immunologists across the state, Sharpike is adamant that the allergies will only be stopped when Christmas is toned down.
"It doesn't require for us to completely trash Christmas. But certainly, the government - whoever that is - needs to step up to the plate and put in place some comprehensive guidelines for the two factors which my study has shown to be directly linked to allergic reactions: tastefulness and timeliness."
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