A female first-year university student today mused upon her sexuality and identity during a lecture on the evolution of Business Culture and Enterprise.
For the better half of the forty-five minute lecture, she penned the capitalised words "EMILY IS A SEXY BITCH" into her lecture pad, which she retraced, perhaps in pensive afterthought, as she pondered the significance of this revelation.
By the end of the lecture, she had carefully crafted a sketch to accompany her self-affirmation. The rich illustration depicted the nubile female form, in a style reminiscent of the Botticelli-Revivalist school of artwork, drawing on a strong use of shadow and light to create a composition which she admitted was "deeply gratifying".
Nearby students complimented her after the lecture on her fine command of the black pen. "She really knew what she was doing," an awestruck student seated directly behind her observed with reverence. "Just the way that she carefully, and very deliberately, etched each letter, each pen stroke, into the paper, you'd swear it was being inscribed into her very soul".
The lecturer noted something was afoot. "Usually everyone loves the discussion of Business Culture, which examines rhetorical approaches across business, and the dichotomous division between centralisation of bureaucratic control and a decentralised, mobile and agile business model. But Emily seemed to be absorbed in a higher sphere of thinking..."
At the close of the lecture, Emily seemed to have reached a point of resolution, as she immediately closed her book, and, as one student noted, "left the lecture with all the speed and refreshed vigour of one who has come to terms with their inner-self and emerged in joyous celebration of their libido and sensuality."
2 comments:
That is hilarious.
Yay!
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