Conversation Overheard on the Bus #1

Setting: A bus

Characters:
2 young boys
1 mother
1 baby in pram (non speaking role)
1 strange boy (non speaking)

*Enter 2 young boys through bus door, who run to a window seat. The elder boy has one ear pierced (he is about 7 years old). Behind them is the mother (who has ears, nose and eyebrow piercings), pushing the pram onto the bus before validating two tickets. She makes her way to the disabled/special seating area and sits down. The boys begin to fight.*


Elder Boy: No, I'm sitting near the window, I got here first!

Younger Boy: No way, I'm...you're...mum, mum!

Mother (tiredly): Both of you stop arguing, or you'll both be in big trouble.

*pause*

Elder Boy: No, piss off (punches and kicks younger brother)

Younger Brother: No, mum-

Mother: Right. Both of you come and sit with me. Now.

*Elder boy moves*

Mother: You too.

*younger boy shakes head, a mischievous smile creeping across his face*

Mother: Now. If I have to come and get you, you'll be in big trouble.

*younger boy shakes head*

*Bus stops at lights. Mother gets up and walks over to child*

Younger Boy: No, no, no, I promise I won't-

Mother: Too late. Now you're in even more trouble. You're already in big trouble for setting off the alarm on the train.

*The bus stops and the strange boy gets off*



Review of "Conversation Overheard on the Bus #1

The latest in Gelati Gecko's "human portrait" pieces, this is perhaps one of the more disappointing additions. The scene is short, and the dialogue and action, while completely true, is cliched, failing to add anything more to the many jokes already in circulation about parenting and child discipline. The closing line, which is factually accurate, does, however, provide a neat sense of closure to the scene, though this fails to make up for other faults. The post modernistic inclusion of the narrator as an omniscient observer is pretentious and is amateurish at best. Let us hope that he turns his writing to more fruitful labours in the future.

Sorbet Snake