Cronulla Rugby Team Praised as "Beacons of Equality and Integrity"

The Cronulla Sharks NRL rugby team were today lauded as a "pillar of truth and honesty, which can be safely set on a pedestal far above us all, and to which we may only aspire". The comments came from the mouths of the board meeting to whittle down a shortlist of groups who have contributed meaningfully to the Australian community in the past year. "The Red Cross, Salvation Army...they're all very good and all," said one spokeswoman, "but we're looking for something different this year. A group that just keeps on giving, setting standard after standard of morally appropriate behaviour."

The accolades falling on the NRL club have been warmly welcomed by local groups. "My ten year old Tyler's a great follower of the rugby, and he loves the Sharks," said Sandra Solomon. "And as a mum, I just can't think of anything nicer than if he grew up to be just like the boys down there - sporting, successful, and having absolutely no qualms about participating in healthy team bonding exercises. The misogynistic environment is just an added bonus," she adds with a laugh.

But there are other parents who are concerned about the example the club has been setting for young children. "As a parent, I'm extremely conscious about the role models I expose my son to. And quite frankly, I think it's a damaging thing for a child, to realise they can never amount to their idols," said one parent. "I don't want to set my son up to fail - by setting such unrealistically high standards of ethical conduct."

The Cronulla Sharks spokesperson said they were "positively delighted, absolutely chuffed", to be receiving such commendations.